Tired man, with all this walking. Went to a pasar malam just now. Bought awfully alot of dvds. ahaha. Can watch until crazy man. In the middle of choosing, recieved a call from someone. The conversation was something like this larh. I can't really remember alot of details.
someone : Hey, where are you now? Go where and play?
me : In Penang now. hahaha
someone : Really? Did you see xxx?
me : xxx in Penang meh?
someone : no larh, just bluff you.
me : zhadao
someone : Do you know your results already?
me : Yes, why?
someone : You heard from who?
me : xxx and xxx larh..why oh?
someone : Don't you feel that your results are very cha?
me : Got meh, 77 and 89 wor. Cha meh?
someone : Cha lar. xxx higher than you leh.
me : ohh. so?
someone : me, xxx and xxx feel that after you became the penolong setiausaha for pengawas your whole person changed.
me : har....ada meh? You mean changed like how?
someone : studies la.
me : hahahahha, this few times I din study so hard ma. no mood.
someone : there, you see. Thats why we say you changed. You're like those Aries people already. No mood to study.
(when I heard that rite, my mind was like blank. i really dunno what to think at that time)
me : ermmm...i'm tired of being the good girl edy la. I really am so SICK of studying d. I just feel like wanna lepaskan everything. Hard leh like that. For once I wanna try like what is it like to fail a test. How izzit like to face the question paper, and don't know how to answer the questions. Those kind of people, what also no need to think about. Like what Qi Yung told be before, those bad class is good. Feel like studying then can. Dun wanna study, also can.
someone : *no comment* has xxx got anything to do with your change of attitude?
me : abit abit lorh..
someone : then you should tell xxx ma.
me : told d. haish. ada masalah there.
someone : and you become quiet jor.
me : I feel our hubungan not as good as before edy. I still prefer when we were F2. Nowadays you all always talk sendiri2. Don't tell me you all talking behind in a group there then I wanna go campur meh. [I didn't say this lar. Could not say it. "I tried so many times d. Everytime I try to go talk with you all, xxx will be like hiiii, wassup. They din continue the conversation d. Wow, you know the feeling when some1 say that to you or not? Its like you know their talking bad about you right in front of your face. Wan Guan, I know your feeling d. Sorry. Everytime I act nothing rite, of course la. If not how you wan me to act?]
someone : You could also come and talk with us de ma.
me : yeah rite.
someone : do you feel that xxx dun like xxx?
me : got meh? no wor.
someone : you what also din notice 1 larh. that day when I start talking about xxx, xxx ask me to keep quiet.
me : ohh...but why?
someone : you know or not, xxx actually very care about you 1. in our geng, you are the person xxx most care about.
me : (so touched when I heard this) ohh, ya meh. how you know? but I dun feel it wor.
someone : haih.
me : how come everytime you go find xxx 1?
someone : xxx go find xxx ma. I just follow onli, sambil itu also can talk with xxx ma. haha.
me : ohh. whatever la, anything. (actually i wanted to say "thats why larh. always bincang studies with xxx. sure can get high marks larh. last time you all bincang with me 1 leh. jealous? yes arh. i'm jealous. who wouldn't be? all this while, your friends are around you. tiba tiba coz of someone, they all go to them. but if i say it out, like i'm so selfish rite, so i just let it pass. i cannot halang them from talking to anyone pun )
someone : you and xxx got problem. try and settle in lar, do whatever you think you must do
me : yeah, I've been thinking about it long time d. I told you before too.
someone : you really changed alot d.
me : i'll call you back later. i'm outside now. i'm scared if you say somemore I might cry in the middle of the road. bye. and i just hung up.
i really dunno what to think at that time. i didn't give it much thought coz i was kinda blur then. i msged that someone, say sorry i hung up. this thing, I wanna talk face 2 face in school, settle easier. then someone said, cannot la. later you tiba tiba cry then susah lor. i was like, grrrrr. But one thing i really dun like is, what happens also that some1 will find me and say its my fault. Someone din say that xxx or xxx change. it was always me. in form 2 also same thing. dun just look at me can or not? othr people also have something to do with this lehh.
i dunno what your reactions will be larh. whatever, since you all say I'm the one that has problems, i'll try and fix it larh. in whichever way I find suitable.
gosh, i also tak boleh tahan to write this. sensitive topic. write more, really banjir d. xD and that someone, already know i kurang mood at that time go and say "now I know how to pujuk xxx when she/he is angry jor. Just mention about xxx then she'll/he'll be happy again" haha,, you all won't understand the feeling one lar.
i need to sort out my life. if not how am i going back to school? sorry for the unbelievable long post. haish.
PS : but I still thank someone for telling me all this though. haha. <3
