how nice it would be to not have a mind.
To be called crazy, to have a mind you could not control.
To be unable to think of the things that bother us everyday,
to be unable to let unnecessary issues pester our already crowded mind.
I've been thinking these days,
how nice it would be to not have to worry, to not have to bother.
To not have thoughts in your head,
to not have to think of problems and their solutions.
If we were crazy, we would be carefree.
Who would care about what homework to submit on what day,
what subjects to revise,
what tuition to attend,
and what do we have to do the whole day.
Who would care about other people's feelings, when, when we're crazy we're living in our own world
with no one to disturb and annoy.
If you have seen in movies,
where people commit suicide by jumping down from high-rise buildings.
During the time they jump till the time they hit the ground,
a melodious background music is played.
The person closes his eyes, and flashes back to all the happy times.
He falls, he falls freely, arms wide open, through the clouds, lost in his own thoughts.
And before he knows it, all his troubles are over.
I've been thinking, how that must feel like.
My mind is going wild,
overwhelmed by everything going on.
I can't breathe, I can't take it anymore.
I'm not strong enough to handle all this shit,
but all I can do is break down tonight and start again tomorrow.
If tears are really that powerful,
at the rate I'm going I'd be blind by the end of a week.
If only the people who should care, cared enough.
If only they actually take more concern in my life,
if only they do not leave me here alone, to decide for myself what I should and should not do.
I ain't no grown up, yet.
