I remember saying to my friend, I chose science stream not because I wanted to be a doctor, pharmacists or any kind of engineer. I just chose it, because it was what people said was the best, and also because I thought I could handle it because, of course, I got 7A's for PMR.
You know, 10 months later, I'm starting to doubt that. I don't seem to know what I'm doing at all. Its like, I didn't learn anything for the past one year. I'm waiting to see what kind of results I get written over my test papers next week.
Did I not work hard enough? But I never liked the concept of doing something forcefully. You know, I was thinking bout the days in Form 3, where science was the best thing I could ever learn. I knew everything by heart, throw my any question and could answer it. This year's 3 science subjects, physics, chemistry and biology pratically killed me. I don't know them.
They say desperate times call for desperate measures. Maybe I should be like those straight A+ people, memorise, memorise and memorise. They said understand, but I don't know why I can't seem to get it. I perfectly understand, I just don't remember.
Everyone around me have such high hopes for me. I wish I could hold up a big stop sign, and tell them to chase away their dreams. I'm never going to be the one they will be proud of, I'm not the excellent student anymore. It was always only what they were proud of, now that its gone I'm just nobody.
I'm sorry to have bothered you guys on Facebook with my problems, I was just looking for someone to talk to. Yeahh, but nobody could ever make me forget everything and be happy as well as they could. They understand. Even if they don't, they know me enough to know what to say. Sadly, my two favourite people are not here with me now;
so its just me and those little teardrops tonight.
